She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
