I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize
