So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Randomize
