Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
he fucked my hip out of place.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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