I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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