Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
