my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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