Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
