he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
