i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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