She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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