just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
