No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
