"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
