I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
