I like to think it a success when the cops are called
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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