Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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