You're completely useless in the revolution.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I just gargled with NyQuil
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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