I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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