Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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