it was like his penis was on wheels.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
