It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
