she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
So gin and wine won't be happening again
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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