I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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