Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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