Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
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