Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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