you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
it's great music for shaving your balls
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
