What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
