i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
