Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
