so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
i out mim tonsoeep
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