I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Never underestimate the power of titties
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
