i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
