It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
