I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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