He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
We had to coat check the pizza.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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