drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize
