You can't special order awesome
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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