Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I think I just sharted jello shots
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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