the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
