im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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