A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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