My room smells like vodka and shame
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
