i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
