Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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