First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
