Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
