a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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