My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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