I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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