I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize