...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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