Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
