I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
